Religion for the godless. It is the unveiling of possibilities; the quest to discover and investigate faraway secrets and mysteries. Where does one turn when nothing exists that answers or expounds our biggest questions and fears?


It is the religion of... wisdom.
​

We move beyond the loud, brash chaos surrounding us; the packaged bible of comfort and acquiescence, to search for the border to truth and knowledge. The outer edges of an approved reality... imagined by the media and the marketers of success and happiness; the inventors of acceptability and accomplishment... we come to a place where we turn away from what we we were told is tried and true - therefore it must be real - and look under the blankets of history, family, education, and God, so that we might see what we've been hiding, or what's been hidden form us, all these years.

To admit we are denied anything; that we've been missing something of vast importance all our lives; and, to finally admit that all we've seen and heard is only a tiny fraction of all there is... is an opening of doors and windows to the outside... not to allow us to escape from this quarantined bubble  of complacency or ease... but to permit what was lost; the beauty and warmth of love, the courage of endurance, the resistance to death or failure... the poetry of the universe... we welcome back that which belongs to each and every one of us and return it to where it belongs in us.


The religion of wisdom.

THE LISTENING MAN ... an updated edition of
Phil Butta's poetry, essays, and thoughts ...
in unpublished form ...
is available here ...
​ The Listening Man 

---

the words: poetry, essays, and lyrics
​

---

If I were but a moment free...Such a dog, I could be!

​

ONLY ONE

Seeing god in all the skies over all of the lands
In each baby and child in each woman and man;
God present and past, of sand or of ghosts
With no other savior or heavenly hosts.
What color what language what gospels what words
None matter none wasted none noticed none heard.
​
All voices deliver the same simple prayers
None greater more worthy none blessed none shared
While pointing thin fingers god's children they be
Crushed into the earth rains wail desperately
As rivers flow together toward the oceans as one
All prayers are delivered intact unison.


IT IS HERE, STILL
​
Am I the man of whom you wrote?
Have I become so that you no longer see my love?
Look! It is here, still.
 
Though hidden beneath the years
Oft times, it struggles.
But see? It is here, still.
 
It is here in the shadows of my failures;
In the halls of my pride and despair;
Gasping and clutching the thin air of our fragile romance.
But look! It is here, still.
 
Although my heart’s voice has become weak
And it’s fluid runs not so warm
Cry not, my life and love …
for beneath this iron veil hides your true man;
Who’s cowardly faults are his deafness to your sighs
And his blindness to your tears.
 
So, weep not.
For my love is like the returning Spring.
 
Look! It is here. Still.
 

FLOWERS 

There are still flowers growing within the garden
amongst the thorns and bramble.
 
Not separate from them ... side by side.
 
Not long time passing …
 
Long time silent.
 

EMPTY SPACE

I am challenged so I ne'er repeat
The choices that I made 
That held me here in dull defeat.
Throughout this weak charade.

The questions fallen on me
my shadow follows still,
I've wrestled with it continuously yet 
It haunts me ever still.

The solace that I never found 
to satisfy my tastes. 
The grasp escapes me as I flail 
my arms in empty space. 
​
The one last dream Is there to dream 
that never has come true?
The desperate frenzied chance that I
might one day be with you.

​Final Words 

I know I wasn’t the best of mates, it’s too late to make amends.
I did my best and rest assured … I loved you all, my friends.
I ask one thing before I say adieu… before my final wave …
Would it be too much to ask that you … put my name above my grave?”


 
SHINE 

( a prayer for the living)

I will not wait until you're gone to say what's on my mind. What good are words of praise and love if I can't see your smile or hold your hand? Let me tell you now how much I treasure your friendship and how you make this life of mine so complete. Let me hold you in my arms and share the warmth I feel. Let me not speak so late that my words fall into empty space and my voice rises only to Almighty's ears. Allow me to say now, while we shine together during these delicate moments, that I love you ... and my prayer is that our lives remain meshed as one ... for as long as time allows ... so that when the inevitable does appear ... absence is but a whisper ... and memories are a song.


Paula’s Saucer 

I may not be what I once was. 
My colors shine not so bright and 
I settle quite unsteady but I am here 
... still ... with you ... as I have always been. 
Where would I go if not with you?"

Maybe you will move me off to one side,
behind the plants someplace I might hide. 
I can still catch the water when you watered too much, 
I can still feed the cat up there on the hutch. 
You can use me to safeguard your money and keys, 
I can still function nicely as an ashtray for free. 
 
Where's that candle that lighted our late night sojourn? 
You can use me to make sure your tables won't burn. 
And those raccoons remember me out in the snow 
... they sure did appreciate the food on the go. 
So you see I can still help you out around here, 
and I won't cause no trouble ... of that I'll be clear. 

Although I may not look like I did when brand new, 
I can still hold some memories of my long time with you. 
If you really do think that my time here is done; 
What more can I say? It's been lots of fun!
 
 
Morphine 

I sense you’re next to me. Your morphine helps
but my wounds just won’t heal
That’s just the way I feel
Is this all there is ... eternally.
 
I’m falling back to sleep
The darkness comforts me it seems unreal
I like the way it feels.
Is this all there is? Eternity.
 
Lost within my dreams
The streets are black the fog is cold as steel
Don’t like the way it feels.
Is this all there is ... eternally.

with These Hands
 
With these hands        I can warm your soul.
                                    I can beg for more.
                                    I can tend your fire.
With these hands        I can take you higher.

With these hands        I can lead the way.
                                    I can make them pay.
                                    I can plead your case.
With these hands        I caress your face.
 
With these hands        I will comfort you.
                                    I will work with you.
                                    I will ease your pain.
With these hands        I will hold your hand.
 
With these hands        I will lift you up.
                                    I will make them stop.
                                    I will make you strong.
With these hands        I will take you home.
 
With these eyes I have seen you cry.
                                    I have seen you try.
                                    I have seen the shame.
With these eyes I have watched you change.
 
With these hands        I could grow the child.
                                    I could calm the fear.
                                    I can bring you in,
With these hands        I will hold your place.
 
With these hands        I can heal the pain
                                    I can feel the rain.
                                    I can wipe your tears.
With these hands        I can slow the years.

​
Waiting for The Rain 

When the sky above starts turning grey
And you shiver from the cooling spray
Let the droplets fall where they’ll remain
Listen as they call your name
While you’re waiting for The Rain.
 
Do not despair or fear the storm
The clouds will keep your body warm.
The weaknesses you feel today
Will one day all be washed away.
 
But if the waters come as the flood lines rise
And they just can’t cleanse the wounds inside
And the waves come crashing at your door
And you can’t keep swimming anymore
And you’re just too far away from shore
 
Turn your head toward horizon’s light
Keep the daylight in your sight
Then close your eyes; dream of home again...
Where I’ll be waiting for The Rain.
 

Will my last act be a desperate attempt to thwart the inevitable...?
Will it be a pitiful plea for forgiveness or mercy ... or will my final curtain be a bow to eternity ... gracefully and humbly exiting after a brilliant and memorable performance?

 
The legacy we leave behind ... maybe ... is all we ever truly become.
 

TEXAS 

Just the other day, I got to hear her sing
A song about the blistering heat ... no chance of a relief.
 
It hadn’t rained for weeks. The ground had turned to stone.
As if to make these matters worse,
Her children were all grown;
All living on their own.
 
I remember once: She seemed so tall and thin
I used to hold her hand in mine To brace her from the wind.
 
Sought shelter from the storm, it seemed to come and go
Been out there for so long
It seemed a distant friend
Was coming here again
 
Oh, momma, where’d your children go?  
Been raining for so long
Oh. Momma, where’d your children go?
 
I remember what she said: she said she’d come for me.
I waited by the open door, I waited patiently.
 
Now 50 years gone by, the sky is dark again
I found her on a Texas farm
Protected from the wind,
Her walls have closed her in.
 
Oh, momma, but where’d your children go?  
Been raining for so long
Oh. Momma, where’d your children go?
 
Momma can’t you see ... beyond the memories?
The clouds are fading super fast
This rain will never last.
 

LISTENIN' MAN
 
I’m a listenin’ man with an ear to the ground.
Can’t hear a thing. Don’t make a sound
Watching your lips move though I can’t hear you speak
Listenin’ so hard to you while you’re asleep
 
I’m a listenin’ man and I don’t have much choice.
I can’t hear what you’re saying in that whispering’ voice.
I will leave in the morning and I’ll be on my way
I’ll be a listenin’ man with no place to stay.
 
Last time that I heard a word that you said
You were turning your back as I was turning my head
I’m a listenin’ man with nothing to say.
 
I’m a listenin’ man so don’t tell me twice
You’re not being mean but you sure aren’t nice.
I’ve listened to the truth and the lies
I am a listenin’ man with nothing to hide.
 
I’m a listenin’ man and I choose what I hear
You can cry all you want            and I won’t shed a tear
You can keep yourself locked in your room with no doors
No people upstairs.        No people below.
 
I’m a listenin’ man. I’m the fly on a wall.
I’m the silence you hear when I won’t take your call.
You can say what you want, it’s (all) safe with me
I’m the man in the shadows that you’ll never see.
 
Last time that I heard a word that you said
You were turning your back as I was turning my head
I’m a listenin’ man with nothing to say.
I’m a listenin’ man and I’ll be on my way.
 
GIANTS
 
It is easy to see the giants. They cannot hide. That is not their calling. They are to stand among the others ... and rise above them."


LOOK AT ME
​ 
Look at me; see what I've become
Is this all I have to show for what I've done?
When I tried to change I was asked to leave
The world it seems got the best of me
Look at me and see what I've become
 
Look at me, see what I've become
Invisible and hidden in my home
Is this emptiness all that's left of me?
Is this who you think I'm supposed to be?
Look at me see what I've become
 
Look at me; see what I've become
Lost in a shadow of my own
Where nothing's real - nothing's what it seems
Mesmerized by my own extremes
Look at me and see what I've become.
 
Look at me; see what I've become
Is this all I have to show for what I've done?
I'm so desperate now and I hate to leave,
But before I go, give me one reprieve.
Look at me and see what I have done.
 

SLEEP 

I will not leave until my work is done.
I will not stop until this task is complete.
I will not change until I can do no more.
I will not turn while the way is clear.
I will not forget what is in my heart.
I will not sleep while you cannot rest.

​
 
FEAR OF AVALON

I will find you no matter where you hide.
Behind your shadows burning deep inside.
You can't hide yourself from the pouring rain.
Careful not to melt … away.

I will find you no matter where you stand.
With your tiny, dirty, twisted little hands.
Would you hold me down? Would you laugh at me?
Courage like a stone … alone.
 
You can build you wall from end to end.
We'll tear it  all apart … again.

I will find you in the Hall of Shame
As you fantasize to glorify your name.
Will you cherish all your famous friends
from your golden throne?

In a desperate hour when you need someone,
Where have they all gone? Away.
 

Green Turns To Blue 
For Mary and Conni
 
After one night with you
I changed my whole point of view.
Green was becoming blue.
 
When all was said and done
We did not just stop and run.
Each breath became as one
Holding on.
 
Living a real romance ... like
Children will learn to dance.
I’m wondering who taught who?
 
Loving behind a veil
With cloud covers everywhere
I clearly began to see ... what
You mean to me.
 
Well alright!  
I’m trying to explain the way I feel.
Well, alright!   ALRIGHT!
That’s one thing I’ll never change.
 
There’s one thing I know today:
what more is there left to say?
I love you much more each day.
 
And after each night with you
I still have my point of view.
I am so love with you.
 
Green becomes my Blue.


Golden Dreams 

Golden Dreams
Where you going to take me now?
Where we going to go, somehow?
 
Golden Dreams
Take me where I’ve been before.
I don’t want to stay here anymore.
 
I can’t seem to take this pain,
It’s killing me.
I can’t bear to stay this way.
I just want to be with you again.
 
Golden Dreams
Why’d you have to go away?
I just want you here with me.
 
Golden Dreams
Life just doesn’t seem the same.
I just have to call your name.
 
I can’t bear to take this pain.
It’s killing me.
I can’t bear to stay this way.
I just want to be with you again.
 


A Prayer For Our Friends 

My heart is lifted because we met.
I am blessed to share this life with you and
I am forever grateful for that honor.
 
I know that you are feeling weak and
I know that you are growing weary.
 
I pray that you do not quake with fear.
I pray that you do not walk in pain and
I pray that you do not stand alone.
 
I pray you feel our love.
I pray you travel peacefully and
I pray you are embraced in tenderness.


In Love With You 

This is how I say hello:
Hold you close and won’t let go.
This is why I seem so glad
Best love I’ve ever had.
 
All I ever want to do
Is spend my time with you.
 
Never felt like this before.
Can’t leave you anymore.
This is what I always knew:
I’m happiest with you.
 
I’m so much in love you.
Can’t you see how much I do?
I’m so much in love with you.
I hope you see how much I do.
 
And all I really want to say
Is I’m better off this way.
And all I really want to do
Is spend my time with you.
 
I’m so much in love with you.
Can’t you see how much I do?
I’m so much in love with you.
I hope you see how much I do.
 
 
Talent without ambition Is like a window that will not open.
 

Blues 

Well ...one should not over-complicate what is meant to be otherwise. Blues is a reference to hard work, good and bad love, good and bad breaks ...things that went wrong (mostly) and the plea to god to help us endure the endless struggle. The "mostly" implies that things can go right, too. Blues is not always a lamentation ...it also signals jubilation and salvation. It's the story of life ...it's continuous changes ...and our determination and resolve to see it through.

 
By The Way 

I like to take some chances – sometimes I even fail
I also have a lawyer friend who keeps me out of jail
 
I like to keep his number – posted by the door
I’ve only had to use it once before.
 
Sometimes you got to pay – by the way
 
Who was I kiss you – you hardly knew my name
I couldn’t help myself you see – so I kissed you just the same.
 
Who am I to wonder – wonder what’s in store
I’d like to kiss with you a little more.
 
What else can I say – by the way?
 
You came to me like I was waiting to be rescued.
I failed to see. I made believe that I was sleeping
But I knew. You know I do.
 
Who am I to stop you or beat you when you’re down?
I shouldn’t be allowed to speak if I won’t stick around.
 
Who am I to hold you and keep you locked inside
At least you know I gave it a good try.
 
There’s nothing left to say, by the way.


She’s Gone 

Don’t wake me up
It’s too much to deal with; I’ve had enough.
It’s better to leave me alone.
 
Just let me be.
Just let me forget what she meant to me.
I can’t face the truth anymore.
 
She’s gone.
 
If I wake up now, she’s gone.
If I wake up now, she’s gone.
 
I don’t really sleep.
I wake up each morning and feel so weak.
I can’t get her out of my head.
 
The light hurts my eyes.
I dimly remember a better time.
I just want to go back to bed.
Because I don’t dream.
I don’t feel a thing.
The emptiness clouds over me.
 
When I feign sleep.
I fall in so deep.
I try, but she’s just out of reach.
 
She’s gone.
 
If I wake up now, she’s gone.
If I wake up now, she’s gone.
 
If I wake up now and turn around,
If I wake up now, she’s gone.
 
 
Slices 

There are times ...tiny slices of the ordinary ...when we glimpse an unexpected moment that startles our inner eye. We are frozen in awe ...and powerless to forget ...the art of our world and of our time.
How sad it is that so many go through their tiresome lives
without ever "seeing" those life-treasures.



Where are you now? 

If I could sail away
Then I won’t have to stay,
Then I could be free.
 
If I could turn the tide,
The long, hard loneliness
might help to set me free.
 
Where are you now? You were right there beside of me.
Where are you now? I feel you inside of me.
 
(I can’t agree.
I can’t for the life of me.)
 
The times I spent with you.
You made my dreams come true.
You were the light of my life.
 
I see you everywhere.
The shadows remind me the truth is behind me
But won’t set me free,
 
Where are now? You were walking beside of me.
Where are you now? The truth is a lie to me.
 
(I can’t agree.
I can’t for the life of me.)
 
 
Desperate 

They try so desperately to hold onto the past. What is it that they fear? Is it the helplessness of the present ...or the hopelessness of the future?
 
Seasons 

Seasons change too frequently.
Summer’s coming way too soon.
Can’t wait for June.
Looking forward to a springtime moon,
Like the time that we first met.
 
I saw you standing on the street.
The boulevard looked oh so sweet.
You captured me.
Locked the door and threw away the key.
Life just hasn’t been the same.
 
You took my hands and you took my heart.
You took my life from the very start.
You took the time to discover me.
Life just hasn’t been the same.
 
I think we make a perfect team.
You’re so beautiful it’s hard to see,
Why you love me.
How can I give you what you’ve given me?
All I know is I love you.
 
I really do.
 
 
Letter to Rick Hoffman on the death of his dog, Harley 

I feel so bad for you. It's a terrifying decision to make but when you know he is suffering and there is no hope ... you must do the right thing. We did it two years ago with Wendy and ... although I continue to believe it was the right thing to do ... me, personally ... I weaken every time I recall our final moments together ... as I am sure you will, too ... but Rick, you did do the right thing for your friend ... and try to look back at the great life you shared and maybe ... maybe you will open your heart and home to another who needs the love and compassion you shared with Harley.
 
My thoughts are with you as I think of the beautiful animals who still, after so many years, mean so much to me... and how, as I sit alone weeping for our mutual losses... I take a small bit of solace for the sweet memories I have
 and the relief that there are more to come. 

WHISPERS

There are scratches on the deadbolt ,
wet stains on the welcome mat.
I hear pathetic whispers,
but I'm not going back.

Were we so misused that we did not see
how saddened we appeared to be?
As we stumbled through our conjoined life
like deformed twins spared by the knife?

It's much kinder to each others' hearts
if we end it now before it starts.
Before we shuffle off to awkward beats
in the same direction down different streets.

 
 EASY WAY OUT

​Leaving the highway for a cool mountain road
Concrete behind me and a much lighter load.
Just got home, I was wasting my time
Searching for something that I could not find.


Just got a look at how the other half fares.
Some got it better and the rest just don’t care.
Squeezing by with the   clothes on their backs
Or riding around in their new Cadillacs.


The grass sure looks greener ‘til you get up real close.
We don’t have a palace but it’s better than most.
So just sit down beside me in this piece of my heart.
Home in the country ... that’s a good place to start.
 
I can sure understand. There’s no easy way out
Searching for something I don’t need there’s no doubt.
So I put on my boots and I still play the game.
 Wake up tomorrow and do more of the same.

 SLEEP

I will not sleep until I can dream no more.
'til the petals flower soft across the floor.

I will not turn on this coward's feet
As I weeping stumble on your darkened street
Toward the whispered prayers of those who knew
What time had taken away from you.

I can't forget what is in my heart, so
I will not sing while you cannot.

​IN VITRO
 
Is there someone outside there who’s
Waiting for me to appear?           
Is there something outside there that’s
Worth it for me to leave here?
 
Can you give me a reason to leave
For a world that I cannot conceive?
I’m the one that you asked for,
The one who will soon set you free.
 
I can feel what you’re feeling,
you’re scared “because you don’t understand.
Is your innocence making you wish
That I’d stay where I am?
 
Your heart feeds me and runs through my veins.
Is the emptiness all that remains?
I’m the one that you asked for,
The one who will soon set you free.
 
Will you love me, protect me,
Deliver me … when will this end?
Will you stand there beside me
Regardless of what happens then?
 
Like a wind that refuses to die 
I will always be there by your side.
I’m the one that you asked for
The one who will soon set you free.
 
 
It’s one thing to admit when you are wrong
And another to be silent when you are not.


Inside Out 

The door is closed but I can see through a window shade
You’re standing there on the inside.
It’s getting cold. I shiver out here all alone.
I’m waiting here on the outside.
 
You seem to think because I was born on a different street
We’d have no chance together.
Though I come to you with a different point of view
We’re both the same on the inside.
 
We’re hanging on your every word
We’re hanging on your every word
 
Whisper in my ear your plans to get away from here
Will you run with me on the outside?
 
Don’t be afraid of the choices that you made
They’ll all work out on the outside
I spent some time to      tell the world that you’d be mine
Here with me ... together
 

Good Friends

Good friends are one of life’s true accomplishments.
 

SOLITUDE

I walk in solitude and in silence, down a narrow, twisting road. I see and hear only snipets of light and sound as they poke through the darkness that warms my soul. It is comforting and secure ... and permits me the opportunity to visualize ... and focus on my thoughts and questions.
 
Occasionally and unexpectedly this path widens to a broad avenue filled with people and animals, and music, and colors ... and many things exciting and thrilling! So many things that it is difficult to grab onto one and hold it and wonder ... to smell it and taste it ... to feel it and love it ... before it slips away and is replaced by yet another ... and another ... and so on and so on until exhausted ... I turn a corner and stumble back onto that familiar, quiet road where the vacuum of peace again surrounds me.


The Road 
​
After the fire, after all the rain
Back on the road, burn my heels again.
Climbing out from what’s deep inside;
Where can I turn to? I can’t decide.
 
After the snow has begun to melt,
Writing down all the things I felt.
Packed my bags and my old guitar;
Back on the road going way too far.
 
After the truth after all the lies
Will you still recognize me in my new disguise?
I changed my image so nothing’s revealed
I don’t give a damn … that’s the way I feel.
 
After the looks after all the stares
They can say what they want I don’t really care.
Back on the road with my new point of view
It’s this kind of thing that helps to pull me through.
 
This is now 

The thing that I like about writing these days
Is that I don't have to write in the usual ways
I can sit here and speak but I sometimes get mad
When the batteries run out on my new iPad.
 
I miss the old days when I'd pick up a pen
And write and rewrite and then write again.
There wasn't a need for excess ambition
Because I still hadn't found my voice recognition.
 
Now I can talk till I'm blue in the face
I just tap the keyboard when I need to erase.
It doesn't seem likely my verse will improve
At least I have iTunes to get in the groove.
 
I guess I'm part of this new generation
Whose technology created this unreal sensation.
Still i cannot dismiss the memories that linger
When writing was more than just tapping my finger.
 
 
You’ve Got The Right 

You’ve been coming on, baby. You’ve been coming on so strong.
Everything I say has been coming out wrong.
Yes I get the feeling. I sure understand.
You know you’ve got the right to go out and find yourself another man.
 
I tried to make you happy....Give you loving when I could.
You say you think I’m cheating, babe. It’s not easy being good.
You know I get the message, baby. I sure understand.
That you got the right to go out and find yourself another man.
 
There were times that were so pleasing. I never thought they’d go.
When I think about those happy times,
                                       there were so many things I did not know.
I have never been misleading ... you know just where I stand.
But I know you got the right to go out and find yourself another man.


Forgiveness 
​
How do you forgive the person who is absent when needed most? What charity is there for the person who selfishly thinks only of himself while his friends only ask for a simple sign of support or a nod of acknowledgement? Does time heal the wounds and hide the scars of heart's disappointments? Will you shelve your hurt and pain as you desperately try to rekindle a fire that can never truly warm your spirit? Or will you bury the festered remains of yet another of life's defeats ... while you yearn and search for a glimpse of sympathy or a slice of compassion?

This does not suggest that there is no forgiveness.
 
Rather, it asks: how does one recover from being mistreated, or heartbroken, as in an empty or violent romance? So afraid of being alone will you wait it out and hope the pain goes away?? Accepting it as inevitable; bravely shouldering life's cruelty? Wearing grief like a badge of courage for all to see;
Always the victim?
 
 It's like ... forgiveness is the hope that it will just go away ...but we know it doesn't go away. It keeps getting worse and worse.
 
Forgiveness is a shield we display when we lose hope
...when our fight has been exhausted.

Forgiveness is never a solution. What it is is a release of burdensome emotional baggage. It is an attempt at finality ... closure. Forgiving another for their relentless, heartless actions or for their deplorable behavior only says they do not have to change ... as if it is our fault that we got hurt.
 
Maybe it is.
 
If we continue to allow ourselves to suffer someone’s harassments or attacks after they have been forgiven ... time after time ... it surely must be our fault. Maybe we do not have the strength or wisdom to understand that forgiveness is not acceptance. It is only a cleansing action that empowers us to move forward; unfettered.
 
Forgiveness, on one hand, is an accusation ...and on the other, a confession.
 
Forgiveness is meaningless ... unless we can also forgive ourselves." 


Some things Will Never Change 

I confess. I’m to blame.
I’m the one who never stays the same.
 
I’m the culprit. I’m your man.
Pleading guilty I take the stand.
 
But when it comes to changing facts
There’s just so much I can take back.
 
Some things will never change.
Often things remain the same.
I changed my mind and I changed my name.
Some things will never change.
 
I’m the driver. The great conniver.
Keeping one eye on the road.
Never turning. Tires burning.
Can’t go back to what I used to know.
 
But when it comes to changing lanes
Sometimes I can’t go back again.
 
Some things will never change.
Often things remain the same.
I changed my mind and I changed my name.
Some things will never change.
 
I’ve gotten older; a little bolder
Say the first things that come to mind.
Thinking of you; how much I love you
I stand before you this is all I am.
 
But if you ever change your mind;
I’m still the man you left behind.
 
Some things will never change.
Some things remain the same.
I changed my body and I changed my name.
Some things will never change.

Sports 

I am of the opinion that guns do not kill people. People with guns kill people.
It would be a fantasy to think that removing guns from the population would be the solution. I think maybe we should be communicating values and morals and concepts that support positive and loving compassion rather than the commercialization of violence. Oh. And by the way ... I think baseball tennis basketball running jumping skating swimming and volleyball are sports. Stalking and gunning down animals in the wild is not a sport ... It is a thin line that separates the satisfaction of killing defenseless prey under the guise of sport and the ecstasy of slaughtering innocents behind the veil of insanity.
 

Games 

How much hatred can there be? How much? What kind of chaos goes through a person’s mind to compel them to commit such a heinous act? How can a spirit rationalize and justify actions that result in such devastation and agony? Is this a natural byproduct of a government that defends individual freedoms to the point where those freedoms erode and diminish the qualities of the society they were meant to protect? In her imagination, Shelly's creature acted with specific intent and purpose ignited by fear, revenge, and loneliness. Has our society flipped the switch in the minds of our children with the ultra-violent video games, movies, and the technological display of violence weakly disguised as entertainment? Whom are we to blame when our youth are encouraged to violence by our own greed and ignorance as we extol the glory of war and combat thinly veiled as competition ... sadly promoted as a pathetic man's path to heroism and infamy? Have we created our own monsters with the naïve expectation that they will remain chained and hidden in the darkness?


Written after the Sandy Hook, Ct, Massacre.
 
Words 

Words.  Those sounds that spew forth to cry the empty stomach or pocket; the everyday utterance making lies and deception from common ... words.

Songs
 
Those sounds that fly forth to echo the heart or soul; the sweetest melody pleading love and desire out from common ... words.


Snakey, The Snake 

Snakey, The Snake, was a friend of mine
I used to see him all the time.
He didn’t have that much to say
But, I liked to see him anyway.
He dressed real fine, his coat was nice.
I guess that’s from his diet: mice.
But I can’t find him in the shed,
He must have left; he might be dead.
 
 
In Plain Sight 

Where's the truth to this situation?
Is it hidden by your infatuation?
Is it camouflaged by your fragrant dreams
immersed within your social schemes
asleep behind your tattered chair
(the last place I would look is there.)

Will I find it in the things you do
In the ways you constantly renew
the emptiness within your home, or
the screaming when you're all alone?
I can't discover where it hides.
Can you tell me where the truth resides?

Distant Boy 

Everyone had to ask me:
What am I going to do
Now that you’ve gone away?
 
My baby, don’t you see
All the things I’ve got to be
That make my life complete?
 
I’m not one of your distant babies.
I’m not one of your distant boys.
 
Everybody hesitates.
But don’t worry I can go
As far as I can see.
 
Yeah, everybody wants to keep me
So no one ever has to give
Themselves away for free.
 
I’m not one of your distant babies.
I’m not one of your distant boys.
 
Lord knows, these times are changing
Folks just don’t act the same
Thinking of no one else.
 
My friends won’t try to help me
They think they’re just too good
To care about someone else.
 
I’m not that distant, baby.
I’m not a distant boy.
 
I’m not your distant baby.
I’m not your distant boy.
 

VALOR

Valor is not a measure of physical strength nor is it born of furious anger. Compassion and courage are the banner and shield of true guardians.


Fall Where I Stand 

There are so many problems … They fall from the tree
Don’t try to ignore them they won’t let you be.
You can turn your head … Try to cover your eyes
They’re in your face before you realize.
 
We are so free.
Like a bird in the hand in the hand who won’t leave.
We fight for our right to be free.
I’ll fall where I stand. That’s just me.
 
I take to the streets to cover my ground.
Count on me. You know I won’t let you down.
I take no prisoners who don’t what to fight.
Just send them home ‘cause it just isn’t right.
 
We are so free.
Like a bird in the hand in the hand who won’t leave.
We fight for our right to be free.
I’ll fall where I stand. That’s just me.
 
The road is hard … push me over the edge.
It’s hard to stop me … Try a bullet to my head.
It ain’t that easy getting blood from a stone.
You can take me down … But I won’t go alone.
 
We are so free.
Like a bird in the hand in the hand who won’t leave.
We fight for our right to be free.
I’ll fall where I stand. That’s just me
 
 
If you will not stand up for me

If you will not stand up for me
Then stand beside me.
If you will not stand beside me
Then you might stand behind me.
And if you will not stand behind me...
Then I will stand alone.




Who Should I Believe? (An Atheist’s Prayer)
 
I was lying by the side of the road begging for a helping hand;
Asking strangers for a sign (without the reprimand.)
Seven saviors came upon me saying “There is no need to grieve”
I said “Thanks for understanding. But who should I believe?”
 
The river seems so shallow. I could walk across it, too.
I can heal myself so easily. Should I be thanking you?
Will the angels ever come to me and lift me up as I conceive
A fairly tale to help me sleep? Is this what I should believe?
 
My father left before me with some friends he met along the way.
They blessed themselves with water; then drowned in their dismay.
With silent answers to their prayers their destination undefined,
The holy shepherds held their ground and left them all behind
To wander aimlessly through the rain with nothing left to lose,
Huddled close together in this storm they did not choose.
 
So forgive us if we have our doubts in a ghost we never see.
Until you show us something real ... there’s nothing to believe.
 
Holy killers in the Middle East to glorify your name
Feed their children to the beast. Throw their women on the flame
Crush your temples and the churches; black flags atop the steeple
Slice the tops off of weaker men and subjugate the people.
Let loose their justice in a crowded street, no prejudice do they take.
Their prophet’s words are misconstrued to serve their twisted faith.
No devils are they who justify the sadness and the hate.
Then lay themselves at your feet in pieces ... virgins on the wait.
 
How can you watch what’s happening and still expect your due?
This lack of faith is not my choice. How can I trust in you?
 
There’s never been a shred of proof and I’m really not naïve,
But if you won’t stop this madness now, don’t ask me to believe.

​Ollie 

What were you saying when you caught my ear?
There was so much excitement I could hardly hear.
There was screeching and shouting
Which way should I turn?
And a familiar voice that I could not discern.
 
The ground was slipping from beneath my feet
As I glimpsed the big sky blue.
My mind was spinning; I felt weightless.
Then I crashed to earth wondering
What I’m going to do.
 
All I remember Is your distant plea.
The one thing I still sometimes hear.
So, what were you trying to tell me?
What were you saying
When you caught my ear?
 

Freedom
 
Do not be so swift to persecute every public office by revealing every thought, every word, or every action.

Patriotism, honor, and loyalty are a shared responsibility
and are not the sole charges of our brave military ...

nor is the battlefield the sole arena.

Every citizen of this country has the moral and civil obligation
to defend this nation by upholding the tenets of its
Constitution, respecting the sanctity of its national security,
and observing the boundaries of our laws and socially acceptable practices.

By all means speak out your opinions and proclaim your oppositions … freedom provides you that entitlement ...

but, do not infect this good society with hatred, insurrection, or tyranny.


Peaceful Man 

My father was a peaceful man.
Did the “dad thing” the best he can.
Tried to keep up
And make a living.
 
He lived his life like a single man;
Played the ponies with his friends.
But he was always there
When I’d really need him.
 
Not a perfect world
But I still got to see him.
 
He tried to cut some corners short
But it didn’t work out like he thought.
He paid the price of the
Broken hearted.
 
When we were young my parents split.
My mom took off but he kept the kids.
I could see on his face he felt that
He was beaten.
 
Like it was all his fault
And he never was forgiven.
 
Well, lots of folks say I look like him.
That’s all right; we were the best of friends.
When I think back now I see that
We looked quite familiar.
Because the lives we lived were
Oh, so similar.
 

Mistakes 

The biggest mistake we can make is believing that the future begins tomorrow. We have spent our entire lives getting to this point. Now is the time for us to shine. These moments belong to us. What we do now… from this point forward… will define who we are and why we are here.


 No One’s Perfect

I’m not lazy. I don’t want a job.
Just can’t be one of those working slobs.
Can’t rely on me because I’m always late.
No one’s perfect, Baby ain’t it great?
 
I fool around and think that life’s a joke.
Spend more money that I have. I’m broke.
Don’t criticize me ‘cause I’m not like you.
No one’s perfect. Baby, ain’t that true?
 
I smoke too much; I think I’m gaining weight.
Can’t get up early ‘cause I stay out late.
I’m no one special and I’m sure you agree
That no one’s perfect; baby just like me.
 
I would rather hang around in bars.
Ride my Harley; drive my fancy cars.
My friends all understand the reasons why
No one’s perfect; baby so am I.
 
 
 
Living In Silence 

Oft I wonder if Eyes do watch,
If ever there was someone interested in us.
If Ears can hear the pleas and moans
Of painful sufferers or splintered bones.
If Voices guide us through deadly roads,
Our daily tortures and heavy loads.
Will heaven’s reach grasp us by our arms
To rescue us from imminent harm?
 
Do we spend our days toiling aimlessly?
For naught we struggle if none will see
What scratchings we leave like festered mice
In a worthless existence, this … paradise.
Is there Someone who pities our futile plight
Who blesses our horrors with their holy might?
Or are we like insects … vermin or swine
With nothing forward … and nothing behind?


Winter 

I close my eyes so I can see your face
It comes to me from out of nowhere.
A faint outline and then your eyes,
Your long gold hair, and then your smile.​
 
It’s so dark when I close my eyes.
Is it dark for you as well?
Do you see me like I see you?
Do you feel the way I do?
 
Is your heart heavy with sadness?
Does it crush you like a winter storm?
I feel buried under the evening snow
And I can’t feel a thing.
 
All I can do is close my eyes
And hope to see you again.